Remnants of a Distant Memory
by aquaXtreme
Summary: 'There had been a promise made one hazy childhood summer between a boy who would be king and a girl who had already experienced all the sorrows the world had to offer...' (Spoilers for The Hollow Queen)


**_Hello my fellow, hardcore Merlin fans! (and an even more special hello to my fellow ArMor shippers!)_**

**_Did anyone else fall in love with today's episode? (The Hollow Queen). Can I just say right now that the emotions playing across Arthur's face when the Sarrum was describing Morgana's torture gave me hope that he didn't hate her. I mean, that look was complete revulsion towards the Sarrum! (Well played by Bradley James!)_**

**_God, I seriously hope that they do the whole Avalon ending with Morgana and Arthur at the end. (It doesn't even have to be romantic. I just want some sort of redemption thing between the two of them)._**

**_Anyway, on with the story :)_**

* * *

_I was looking for a breath of life,  
_

_A little touch of heavenly light,_

_But all the choirs in my head sang 'no'._

_ - _Breath of Life, Florence + The Machine

* * *

"_She's nothing to be feared."_

Arthur shifted, his eyes accustomed to the bleak darkness of his chambers as his mind replayed the scene in the Banquet Hall. He could feel the extra body heat radiating off of Gwen as she slept soundly beside him, unaware as to the mental state he was in and had been in for the past hour.

"_I kept her...like an animal."_

He breathed, slow and deep, catching the whiff of the lotions Guinevere often used on her hair, as he tried to push the words towards the back of his head.

"_Like an animal."_

Growling softly, Arthur pictured the satisfaction on the Sarrum's face, lips pulled into a sneer as he spoke of _her_ in that manner. He shouldn't have asked him about her. He had known it would be foolish, known that it would stir up dangerous emotions that were better off hidden and buried deep within the recesses of his body, known that he would only be asking for confirmation on something he knew was true. And, yet, he had done so.

"_I found her weakness. Everyone has one...even a High Priestess."_

Some part of him hated her. Hated her with every fibre of his being. Why shouldn't he? After all, she had played her part in his father's death, had nearly killed Gwen, had gone after his loved ones more times than he could count. Not to mention the fact that she seemed to be gunning for having his head spiked and taking over Camelot every other week.

And yet, there was a smaller, more resistant part in him that still held onto the past; onto the fleeting memories of a dark haired girl who had once given the silent treatment to Uther for a full week, all for the safety of a donkey and onto a promise made one hazy childhood summer in a field between a boy who would be King and a girl who had already experienced all the sorrows the world had to offer.

Arthur froze as the Queen moved beside him, her lips parted and forming silent words as she dreamt about...well, whatever Gwen dreamt about. He almost envied how easy it was for her to fall asleep and _dream._

He hadn't dreamt in quite a while now.

He had a broken sleeping pattern, one caused by the emotional burdens of having a whole kingdom on his shoulders and of having the consequences of a shattered bond played over and over in his head. One that was only slightly eased by Guinevere's presence on some nights and, on the others, made all the more worse. No, he suffered from nightmares but not once had he dreamt.

"_Such a shame...all that power...all that beauty...abandoned and forgotten in that living grave..."_

He remembered gritting his teeth at those careless words, feeling the harsh coldness of his metallic ring against his warm fingers as he rubbed them together, the slight pressure grounding him in reality and to the events that had transpired years before that no longer required him to protect the dead shell of a woman he had once known.

"_Not that her time with me was entirely wasted."_

He twitched, the muscles in his arms tensing automatically and without thought at the implication of such a statement. Morgana may be plotting night and day to overthrow him but that didn't take away all those forgotten years of a friendship slowly forged and the delicate whispers of _what might've been._ He had felt Gwen's sharp intake of breath at those words, known that he hadn't been the only one repulsed, regardless of what the witch may have done.

He had known (and loved) the passionately loyal girl she had once used to be and he knew that, no matter what Morgana did, that girl hadn't deserved one minute of those two long years.

And somewhere, lurking beneath the surface of a lonely and betrayed woman, that girl still thrived. After all, hadn't she stayed and suffered to insure the safety of that dragon, her only friend in the whole of the Five Kingdoms?

And, without thinking, a small, hopeful, desperate smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

For, if the girl he had once known still lived, wasn't there hope that she could be brought back from the edge?

And, if that hope was there, God knows he would do anything to save her, in spite of what she had already done. Or, maybe, because of it?

After all, she needed redemption, needed saving from the darkness festering in her heart.

And hadn't he once pledged, in a field full of hot summer childhood promises, to be her knight and saviour?

* * *

**_I know, wishy-washy ending but spare me and let me indulge in my fantasies (after all, you lot have the actual Merlin series for your little ArWen and Merthur ships...we ArMor shippers have to get a little more creative and dig a little deeper...) :P_**

**_Anyway, if you have the time (and if you actually want to), PM me about the latest Merlin episode. Need someone to rant to about Morgana and how she ISN'T as evil and heartless as everyone seems to be portraying and showing her as. _**

**_Until next time, Merlin Fans! :) _**


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